You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
