I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize