Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I CAN MOONWALK!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
