8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
