I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
