life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
