When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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