Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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