i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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