I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
