Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
