Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
