Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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