got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
