your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
