She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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