Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
