it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
