This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
