Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize