Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
