The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
