Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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