Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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