Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize