u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
