i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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