i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
