Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
