Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
