R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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