Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
