yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
