I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
