with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize