Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
