How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
