Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I touched a dick in church today
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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