Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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