I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
