her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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