we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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