I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
