I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
