O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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