She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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