She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
