Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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