and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
