If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
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