uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
