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You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
