my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
