I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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