I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Bang-toberfest begins!!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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