yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
