i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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