Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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