You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
