AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize