She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
worst night to have a conscience
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
