dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
