Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
