i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
