I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
