If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
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