It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
