they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
