Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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