based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize