I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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