im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you would pick up someone in the library
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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