Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
