I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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