Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
